Humor quotes, other baubles and food for thought to keep a giggle in your walk today.
A LOGICAL SOLUTION.
Now here is a problem that finally has a formula for getting to the bottom of an age old problem.
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far a** kissing will take you.
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bulls**t and A** Kissing that will put you over the top.
Everyone can think of one person here…
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, “s” will be used instead of the soft “c”. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.
Also, the hard “c” will be replaced with “k”. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced by “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent “e”s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” by “z” and “w” by ” v”.
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou”, and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst place….
There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither
apple or pine in pineapple. And while no one knows what is
in a hotdog, you can be pretty sure it isn’t canine.
English muffins were not invented in England nor French
fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t
sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are
square, and guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing,
grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of
booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, two meese?
Is cheese the plural of choose? One mouse, 2 mice. One louse,
2 lice. One house, 2 hice?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian
Why do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
Ship by truck or car and send cargo by ship? Have noses
that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I
wind up this essay, I end it?
Recently I had the opportunity to photograph my cousins beautiful champion quarter horse Rodney.
Rodney is a registered AQHA, American Quarter Horse. He was born in San Martin, CA on March 11, 1982, at Tinker Stables. His registered name is Docs Skippin Tivio yet received his barn name[nickname] of Hotrod or Rodney because the first choice name Tivios Hotrod was already taken.
Deanna is second owner to Rodney, she bought him directly from the breeder when he was four years old and still a stallion. He is of the bloodlines that were known as the Empire of Cutting, in the late 70’s and through the 80’s that is the Doc Bar and Poco Tivio legacy. Rodney is the grandson to Doc’s Peper Bar and Poco Tivio. There is longevity in his bloodlines, Doc Bar lived to be 36. Rodney was started by John Ward and then trained by Billy Cochrane.
Rodney has showed in the Snaffle Bit Futurity, the Oregon Futurity and many weekend cutting events. Rod has been happy and healthy all his life and is probably the most athletic horse I have ever ridden. He has spent his life loving to work and always wanting to please; I have never had to get after him, he has been tried and true. We formed a great partnership in the show pen. He loves to work cattle. After he retired we did sporting events locally, he was a favorite with the other competitors. I was offered a lot of money for him several times but politely declined, as he was my friend and life mate as a horse.
He has done a number of interesting things in his career, he was the half time show at Dressage in the Wine country, paired along an Oldenburg Stallion that he was the mini shadow to. Rodney does the same moves as in dressage but in the western genre. He also spent time on the Racetrack as a pony horse. Rodney also won a lap and tap race as part of a four horse team, along side of some quarter horses off the track. He was lightening fast, Doc Bar was originally bred to race. Rodney has personality plus, he comes running to a specific whistle. He also knows voice commands, and is very sensitive to leg pressure and ques when ridden. He is like driving a high performance race car. He has a funny passion for smell, he like to smell ladies long hair…..he also loved to gently smell Nick when he was an infant….funny horse. Rodney will go down in history as the best horse I will ever own. ~D
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pssst it’s me Alice. Want to go on an adventure? Come with me through the looking glass. I’ll show you around…
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She’s got her 4WD on and loves the back country but wants to be browsing the rags on typography, architecture, design and photography in the corner book and music shop on a Saturday afternoon…then we’d hit O’Leary’s as it’s St Paddy’s Day.
Happy St Patrick’s Day to all.
[…it just started to softly snow…]
Like the Kodak moment of days long gone “Photo of the Moment” is a random posting of photos by ST Photography, AT Adventures and other contributors. Here we will capture the day, a moment that sparks the creativity or something that simply captures our attention. A quick post with a visual feast. It’s like fast food but is good for you.
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